Divorcing or separating parents often find themselves locked in custody conflicts. Both parents may claim to want what is best for the children, but they may have a very difficult time agreeing on what that actually is. If they go to court, a judge makes the decisions for their family. Settling their disagreements outside of court improves a parent’s chances of securing the custody terms they want.
Frequently, parents attempting to negotiate custody arrangements find themselves disagreeing about basic guidelines for sharing parenting time and the division of parental authority. The arguments that arise as they try to resolve their custody disagreements can do additional damage to their relationship, which can make co-parenting very difficult.
Thankfully, there are ways for those locked in a custody dispute to (potentially) amicably resolve their issues. The following are some of the more peaceful ways to settle custody disagreements.
Mediation sessions
Mediation has become a popular family law tool. Instead of leaving parents in an adversarial relationship, mediation asks them to cooperate and compromise with each other. Attending mediation for custody disagreements can help parents find common ground, practice healthy communication skills and arrive at custody arrangements they both find acceptable.
Co-parenting services
There are a host of co-parenting services that can make settling custody disagreements and sharing custody less difficult for a family. Some parents agree to attend co-parenting classes where they learn about conflict resolution and how to properly parent when the children move between two households regularly. In scenarios where conflict levels have been high, co-parenting therapy or counseling might also be a viable option. Parents can work through some of their negative feelings and learn skills that help them communicate and cooperate with one another. There are even co-parenting apps that can include all of the details about a shared parenting arrangement. Parents use these apps for all of their communication, creating one cohesive record of their plans and conversations.
Collaborative negotiations
Technically, collaborative divorce involves a very specific process. Spouses sign an agreement to settle their disputes outside of court and may have to basically start the process over again if they fail to settle. It is possible to collaborate on custody matters without necessarily committing to a collaborative divorce. Spouses may communicate with each other directly or may have their lawyers handle the details until there is a viable custody arrangement for the family.
Exploring ways to work together cooperatively in a shared custody scenario can be beneficial for everyone in a family. Parents who learn to work together may find that co-parenting is easier than it was when they fought about everything.